Why You Should Do the Thing You Want to Do, and Not the Thing You Need to Do.

I remember reading, or hearing, somewhere that Warren Buffet makes a list of all the things he has to do, then circles the top five and only works on those. I remember thinking, of course! That makes sense. No one can do 20 things a day, but we can do five.

I implemented this daily, but it didn’t really help my anxiety. It did help me complete some things that otherwise I would have stared at for weeks in an overwhelmed daze, feeling more and more disgusted with myself. Sound familiar? Most of the people I know have a similar shame cycle. Mine, and probably yours, sounds like this.

“I can’t seem to get enough done.”

“No matter what I do, I can’t complete the things I need to do.”

“There’s never enough time in the day to do what I need, much less what I want.”

“I feel like I’m failing.”

“I feel like I’m failing those I love, because I don’t have time for them.”

“I’m ashamed that I can’t get things done.”

Sound familiar? Maybe some of it does. Maybe you have your own shame cycle; your own internal voice telling you that you are failing when you don’t get things done that need to be done.

Mine is pretty loud.

So here’s what I realized: There will always be something that needs to be done.

This morning I was guiltily reading a book in bed, when my brain started firing off all the things I should be doing instead. I have a course to finish that I’m way behind on, I could clean more, I could apply for jobs, I could work on my LinkedIn, I could adjust prices on my website….on and on and on. You know it. You have your own list. The list that pops up anytime you take a moment to do something that you want to do, instead of something you need to do. It’s an anxiety-causing list. It’s a shame-causing list. Here’s why it’s bullshit: I’ll say it again: There will always be something that needs to be done.

Not just today, or this week, but forever. No matter how much you do, there will always be something more to do. Always. From right now, until you die.

The list will NEVER stop existing.

Is this a sobering thought? It was for me. There is no way I’m spending my whole life worried about the next thing I have to do on a never-ending list, full of anxiety until I literally die. If you are thinking, hey, me too! Great! Read on.

We do not have control over the endless amount of things that will always need to be done from here until we die. That’s part of life. However, we can decide whether to let this thought cause us more anxiety, or we can use it to free ourselves. We have an option. We have control. We can choose how this knowledge affects us.

We can stop. We can sit down. We can pick up a book we want to read. We can stare into space. We can call up a friend we truly want to talk to. We can play a video game. We can cook some beautiful food, make some beautiful music. Most of all, we can sink into ourselves and ask, hey, since the list will literally never end, what do I actually want to do with my time right now? If it’s work on the list? Great! I’m by no means suggesting you stop doing what you need to do. Doing what you need to do is a great way to reduce anxiety and to complete goals that lead to fulfillment. Just recognize that you will never not have a thing to do, so it’s ok to instead do something that you want to do. You can choose that too, and you don’t have to feel shame, or guilt, because the list will always be there. I’m going to repeat that cause I know it’s worth repeating.

We do not have to feel shame at doing what we want to do.

The list will always be there. Always. It’s not going away, ever. (Here that hammer, hammering it home? :)) So go do something that brings you joy. Go do the thing you want to do, and do it with wild abandon. Do it with love and confidence that there will never be enough time if you wait till you are done…because you’ll never be done.

So go choose you. Why not? What else you got to do? If the answer is everything, then you know you are in the perfect place to stop.