Psychic Gifts
I think there must be nothing harder in a Western society than being a psychic person. If you’re lucky, and privileged, then perhaps you can carve out a niche for yourself in some way where you are abandoned by those who use reason and logic and science as their guiding stars, but embraced by those who use soul and spirit and magic to guide them.
Now I want you to add in the complexities of living in a society that says you must be loved by everyone. Go ahead. Start unlearning that.
If you get there, where you can step forward with your gifts, and be abandoned by half of whom you might consider your community (as in my case, as a highly educated scientist), then you have to take the next step into a game I love to play called “Do you have gifts or do you have schizophrenia? Do you have gifts or do you have delusions of grandeur?”
And here you find yourself at a really fun intersection of Vulnerability and Judgement. It’s a loss/gain analysis. How Vulnerable can you be while being Judged by those you admire? How much do you trust your own brain?
Are you still with me? Are you still even walking this path? Or did you abandon ship back there a bit to continue to walk the line? I don’t blame you if you did. I abandon the path on the regular.
And if you finally do speak your truth, and admit, you are just a bit magic, really, then how do you feel after announcing it?
Foolish? Like a poser? A fake? Like you’ve jumped into the dumbass swirl of white people who are claiming they are witches?
This is NOT for the faint of heart.
How can you be authentic when your authenticity has been commercialized, profited from, and oversaturated?
and then
How can you look at all of this with different eyes? How can you shift toward gratitude? Toward seeing instead a community growing and flourishing? Toward a community no longer silenced?
How do you hold all of this without having a nervous breakdown? Without giving up?
Let’s start with the Truth. And because I can’t speak your truth, I’ll speak mine.
The Truth is I can feel the future. It’s a gift I’ve always had. It’s a simple practice, really. I just imagine two separate futures at one time, and feel into which one is going to happen, or according to my personal belief, has already happened/is happening (time is a construct). Since this is already happening/happened, it feels different. It feels tangible. It feels material. It has substance. It has clarity. It has power. Where the future that won’t come to pass feels like air. It feels like fog; it feels unreal.
Would you like to try? Close your eyes. Imagine two things in the near future that may occur. Two things that you are unsure about, nothing certain, nothing truly worked toward; just ideas, floating out there, that may occur. Then feel into them. One should feel brighter, more solid. The other should feel as if it’s further away, less able to be touched, less real. Check in with yourself once one or the other comes to pass, remember, and see if the one that came to be real was the one that felt more solid in the first place. For me, that’s how it works, and it never ever fails. If this isn’t your gift, that’s fine. It’s mine! Feel free to ask me to use it for you in a session. If it’s not your gift, do you have one? What are you denying to walk the line?
In the meantime, how are we going to tackle our Vulnerability and Authenticity today as spiritual and scientific, educated human beings? Let’s start with the truth. Let’s start by speaking our truth.
My truth is that this is HARD to navigate, and the only thing I can do is keep playing with what makes my heart sing. And to say that that’s easy would be a bold-faced lie. It’s difficult, and it requires extreme faith and trust, in myself. It requires direct action. It requires blood and sweat and tears. I fail; I fail SO MUCH at it. There is no reality in which that’s easy work. But what the hell else is there to do?
Much love,
Jen